https://soundcloud.com/shivani-das-983855902/model-behaviour-pt1?si=be522a1c6f434520b0e1fab7bf0b57a4&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing
The episode "Model Behaviour" is an attempt to capture Radhika's mental turmoil in creating a balance between making a career and looking for independence from family during the lockdown.
The host for this episode is Aishaanyaa Tiwari, a mental health professional and the respondent for this episode is Radhika Saxena, a model.
This podcast is created by Shivani Das and Shivani Sankhla, as part of the Ideosync UNESCO Information Felłowship, June 2021 special cohort on intersectional feminism and digital rights.
PART 1
(Intro music)
Aishaanyaa- Hello Everybody. Welcome to the Women’s Emancipation T&C podcast. I am your host for today, Aishaanyaa Tewari and this is part one of an episode called model behaviour. Today, we have Radhika Saxena, who will talk to us about mental health, work and ambition during the pandemic.
Radhika is an engineer and a model and today she is going to share with us what it was like for her to switch to an unconventional career path during the COVID pandemic while living with her parents and struggling with mental health issues. Hi Radhika, and welcome to the women’s emancipation T&C podcast.
(Pause)
So Radhika, when the pandemic was announced in 2020, you had to come home to Agra from Chennai, where you were a third-year engineering student, right! What expectations did you come back home with? What was your time at home like when you reached Agra?
Radhika- Honestly, when the shutting down of my college was announced, we all thought that it would be all for a month or two. So, when I came back home, I did not imagine that it would be such a long stay and that my whole life was about to change in my own hometown. When I came back, initially, it was a very detoxifying process because you got a break from the hassle filled life of the college and you would be able to relax and attend classes from the facilities from your home and have good food, but all of that did come with a price tag along with it which was my mental health, despite a change in the dynamics with my father who became my mentor and friend. The relationship between my mother and my father was very strained, and because of the prolonged lockdown, it became even more damaged because their fights became even more serious.
Aishaanyaa- Yeah!
Radhika- And it did even impact me because there was no escape from it, and no matter how much I tried to pacify them, they would start again in some amount of time, which really took a toll on my mental health because I came from a life where I was free, independent, taking decisions of my own life and away from all these issues because I was by myself, living my own life and college, enjoying the prime of my life but, back at home I felt like things were out of control, and I felt helpless because I was not able to get out of there and their action had an impact on my mental health, and there was no way to go, you just had to stay locked up with the people who are affecting you. That was a very huge challenge for me.
Aishaanyaa- Yeah! How did you get the mental health support that you needed?
Radhika- Honestly, I was my own support. Sometimes, I used to feel so low I don't even know how I got through those days. I was my own source of motivation, I used to keep telling myself that “tough times don’t last, but tough people do”. But, then there was a time when I could not even call myself tough, I was that broken, but I just told myself that when this has to end, if this is the worst day of my life, then obviously the remaining days are going to be better than this one. However, things did become worse day by day.
Aishaanyaa- Okay.
Radhika- And I kept holding on, just with the hope that things are going to be better someday.