https://soundcloud.com/shivani-das-983855902/dancing-bodies-claiming-spaces-pt2-1?si=51c862209e6a442d822105e91c65965f&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing
The episode "Dancing Bodies Claiming Spaces", focuses on claiming public and private space through dance while navigating moral policing and body shaming.
This episode is in Malayalam. The host for this episode is Aathira Gopi, a Gender and Sexuality consultant and the respondent for this episode is a performer and educator who has preferred to stay anonymous.
This podcast is created by Shivani Das and Shivani Sankhla, as part of the Ideosync UNESCO Information Felłowship, June 2021 special cohort on intersectional feminism and digital rights.
Part 2
(Intro music)
Welcome again to episode four of the Women’s emancipation terms and conditions applied podcast. This is the second part of the episode ‘Dancing Bodies Claiming Spaces’.
Aathira: How did you cope with these problems? Were there support systems in the immediate family and how did the whole process affect your mental health?
Respondent: My mental health was affected badly due to these. Firstly, the situation of the pandemic, just like for everyone, had affected me. Adding to that were my personal issues. As I mentioned, the anxiety of getting out of your personal space if experienced on a daily basis definitely becomes a pattern in your brain right. So it affected me badly. Neither in the family nor professionally, were there any support systems. I was also scared to take therapy and it was also not accessible to me at that point in time. So my coping mechanisms were unhealthy like crying or eating or watching the screen so much which affected me both physically and mentally. One happy space that I had was within my family. I have two little cousin sisters, one of them in 6th and the other in 12th. So whenever they used to come home during their holidays, we danced a lot which was our common point. We start our meeting by making a video. We discuss making videos or reels, wearing this or that cloth or say, the same colour top. This was our meeting basically and this was my happy space. They are also at an age where they have a lot of questions. I am not saying that I don’t have questions. But their questions I believe are in their primary stages. So when they ask questions and I share my thoughts on those, I feel like my studies can at least be useful here, that I have a space to share them.
Speaking more about our dance, gradually I understood that the moral policing or body policing I faced found its answers here. Not just for me, but even for them, this space became one in which they could ask questions and share safely. So we did not have the space to wear a ‘short’ (short would mean anything above knees contextually) dress and roam around inside or outside homes. But when we took a dance video we could wear these and this was also an answer. It was also a disruption, a small protest. I would not want to call it ‘small’. It is huge considering our contexts. But huge or small, it was a protest action. So there was an incident. There was a family function like usual, I was caught up with my tensions and was upset that nobody understood me or what I am going through mentally in its intensity. That is when the three of us cousins came to the concept of making a dance video the next day. So I thought anyway the space where I am in won’t understand me, so I might as well wear the ‘shortest’ and most ‘exposing’ clothing and attend the function. My cousins also wore dresses. It is not just the clothing, but the space, the music we chose, all of those were helping us directly or indirectly. It was a safe space to speak, dance and discuss our problems. The song we chose came to be a mix of ‘Sheila Ki Jawaani’ and ‘Woman’ by Doja Cat. The process was to choreograph and learn the steps the entire day to make a video that was shot by my little cousin. Me and my other cousin who is currently in 12th, danced. Dancing to this at night, at the junction of a road in front of the house to this music was the scene. It is on the same road that we grew up listening to the boundaries of policing morally and bodily. It is the same road which gave us the fear of wearing ‘short’ clothes. So dancing to this song in this space, wearing what we wore was really liberating for us. And when we were dancing and practising, our family members would come out and check on us asking what are these people doing outside on the road? And when we came in, nobody said anything against us. Hence, this was becoming a protest action both in our own private and public spaces. So this is a reclaiming of our spaces for both of us through dance. And then after dance comes the discussion of what people must have thought and also the confidence of wearing these clothes to go out or dance. For me as someone trained in ‘classical’ dance, the movements of this dance were difficult. But with the help of my cousin who taught me this, now I was also confident not just to dance, but to wear these ‘short’ clothes at home which I never thought I would, here. This was a relief. And there were also questions that came up after the dance from my cousins in our own time regarding the definitions of gay or lesbian identities and in knowing if we could watch any movies based on these. So this short one-minute dance led us to a huge question.
Aathira: When we think, wearing a favourite dress, dancing to music, or having dishes of our choice is a simple thing, but when in this context where there were restrictions, all these small acts become acts of resistance and challenge these restrictions placed by society. Thank you respondent for explaining how you used dancing for breaking the restrictions and about the opportunity of using dance as a form of resistance and for sharing feelings of liberation and feeling of solidarity with your cousins. We hope that this episode and the experiences shared by the respondent have helped in developing the strength and hope of our listeners to challenge the restrictions in their life. Also, we thank the respondent for talking with us and giving us time for this conversation. Thank you listeners for supporting us and listening to our podcast. This is me Aathira Gopi, your host and this is the Women’s emancipation terms and conditions applied podcast. Thank You.
(Outro music)